Friday, January 13, 2012

Harperite homophobia leaves lesbians in limbo

Back in 2005 a couple of gay gals from away took advantage of Canada's newly minted same sex marriage legislation to tie the knot.

Alas, as is too oft the case, true love sometimes doesn't last, and this year our gay gals are looking for a divorce. Trouble is, the gals are from homophobic foreign states that don't recognize gay marriage. For reasons that remain obscure the federal government intervened in their divorce, and claimed that the original marriage was invalid because it was never recognized by our gay gals respective home turfs.

This is big news not only for the gay community, but the gay marriage industry. In Montreal alone gay marriage junkets from abroad are estimated to bring in 200 million dollars a year in economic benefits.

While the government's motives may be obscure, the think tank here at Falling Downs has a theory. The Harper government pride themselves on being manly manly men. They dangle from helicopters. They date and sometimes marry hot chicks. They autograph bombs. They are the leaders of the true north strong and free, dammit!

Steven Harper went into politics so he could be the leader of a country that punches above its weight. Instead, he's the leader of the gay marriage mecca of the world!

That's why the federal government interfered in that routine divorce.

Take a pill, Mr. Harper. We have plenty of examples in history to prove that there is not necessarily a conflict between reactionary politics and being, if not queer-friendly, at least queer. Ernst Rohm. Roy Cohn. Jorg Haider...

So get those government lawyers out of that divorce and leave those gays alone.

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