When those crafty Persians finally figure out how to put the finishing touches on their long-awaited nuclear bomb, and somehow manage to deliver it simultaneously to Tel Aviv, London, and Washington, we will enter a time of great darkness.
Will America then belong to the People of the Towel? Heck no! America will belong to the People of the Beard!
You see, our Amish and Mennonite and Hutterite brothers have never left the time of great darkness. Those folks read their children bedtime stories by candlelight every night.
I was reminded of that today as I was driving through Mennonite country around Elmira. More horses and buggies on the road than cars. The power grid goes down, what do they care? It'll be business as usual for them.
Must admit they all look the same to me. Couldn't tell the difference between a Mennonite and a Hutterite if my life depended on it, which it well could after the Persians work their magic. Up around here I understand the bearded ones are mostly Amish. And there's a secret beard code that only the insiders know about. Full beard and 'stache means you're a regular family man with kids. Sideburns shaved means you're married but no kids yet. A Freddie Mercury 'stache and no beard means you're gay, and so on.
There's lots of other nuances in the culture that are pretty obscure. Some of them have rubber tires on the buggy, some don't. Some have the power grid hooked up to the barn but not the house. Then you have the back-sliding factions who drive cars, which opens up a whole 'nother set of nuances.
The more conflicted backsliders paint the chrome on their cars black. Then there's the crowd who will go with the black car but leave the chrome, and on the exteme left-wing of your Mennonite-Amish-Hutterite spectrum you have people who drive cars that aren't even black.
But I digress. The future belongs to the true believers, the horse and buggy guys who won't even notice that the power grid is out and the state has collapsed.
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