Wednesday, November 30, 2011

PM shocked to learn Canada has natives

Prime Minister Harper's handlers were scambling today to explain his apparent belief that Attawapiskat was located in Norway.

Living conditions, or more correctly, dying conditions on the Canadian Indian reservation have made headlines around the world since it came to light that its people were facing the coming winter without adequate food or shelter. Living in tents and uninsulated shacks, the natives feared that many of their number would perish. In the Canadian north the winter temperature can hover in the -20 to -40 range for weeks at a time.

After weeks of silence on the story, Harper today claimed in the House of Commons that Canada's International Development Agency has sent millions of dollars to Norway to help the suffering aboriginals, and it's not his fault that those people spent the money on liquor and bingo instead of houses. That assertion was met with disbelief from the opposition benches.

"Well no wonder they're freezing to death," a Liberal Party spokeperson was quoted as saying, "our government has no idea whatsoever that this is actually OUR problem!"

A spokesman for the government of Norway said the error was regrettable, but assured the media that such a situation was unlikely to occur in his country.

"In Norway everyone is treated with dignity and respect.We actually are seeing more and more native refugees arriving here from Canada. They risk everything in that long trek across the polar ice cap, but they feel they have nothing to lose."

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