Wednesday, November 23, 2011

FBI gives up on Al Qaeda, goes after Amish instead

Dozens of FBI agents swooped in on an Ohio Amish community this morning and made seven arrests in the "beard bandit" case.

Contrast that with the FBI's lame response to NYPD efforts to enlist them in the investigation of Jose Pimentel, who according to Mayor Bloomberg was on the verge of unleashing devastating pipe-bomb attacks in Manhattan.

Bloomberg held a news conference the other day announcing the arrest of Pimentel. Seems a platoon of NYC's finest have been shadowing the Al Qaeda operative for almost two years as he planned to assemble a bomb made of match-sticks. Bloomberg was more than a little chagrined about the FBIs lack of interest in the case.

"The failure of federal agencies to get involved in the case is criminal," Bloomberg said. "We hand them this Al Qaeda guy on a silver platter and they won't touch it with a ten foot pole."

FBI spokeman Herb Hancock explained that the agency has become sceptical of so-called terrorist investigations. "Frankly, we're tired of spending millions of dollars following around some dorkshit who can't even light his undershorts on fire just because some undercover cop saw him at a mosque once." the uncharacteristically candid Hancock said.

"We've got our own people in every mosque in the country, and I can say with some confidence that most of these Al Qaeda operatives couldn't tie their shoes without help. We wouldn't touch the Pimentel case with a ten foot pole."

Leaving aside the fact that the shoe-bomber was wearing velcro do-ups, Hancock may have a point. When was the last time all this police work turned up a credible terror threat?

So pull those agents off the Al Qaeda file, and let's end that Amish crime wave once and for all.

No comments:

Post a Comment