Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Darn tootin' Mister Putin, we intend to defend democracy

Vladimir Putin announced his candidacy for the President's office last week with a promise to bolster military spending in the former commie dictatorship.

This was seen as a thinly veiled threat against America and her NATO allies, who have been busy encircling Russia with a network of anti-missle missles in recent years.

As every school-child knows, the former evil empire is the bad guy in this scenario. How can Putin get away with threatening to increase defence spending just because we've been surrounding his country with missiles?

Putin is no newcomer to the Presidential office of course. In his previous stint in the big chair he was infamous for reigning in the so-called oligarchs who had looted the state during that glorious first blush of freedom after the fall of Gorbachev.

The oligarchs went from being mid-level functionaries under Gorbachev to buying European football teams and commissioning mega-yachts a few years later. Why? Because they knew where the important paperwork was kept. One day a guy is making 1,000 rubles a month and living in a modest flat, next day his name is on the ownership papers to a major state bank and he's buying a villa in France.

That's capitalism my friends! And we all know that you can't have democracy without capitalism.

Let it be known Mr. Putin: we intend to defend democracy. You have been warned.

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