Why your GPS sucks

Last night around ten we had a knock on the door.

Now usually, if there's a knock on the door after dark, we automatically assume it's the OPP, and we don't even bother getting the artillery out. Nothing says dorkshit louder than standing at the door with your Cooey single shot when the OPP tactical response unit is taking up positions up and down your driveway.

So I answer the knock, and it's some older gent, wanting to know where Kemble was. He'd punched it into his GPS, and just couldn't find it.

Well, there you go. GPS syndrome.

Any idiot with a map could have found Kemble with no problem. Any idiot even without a map has a 50/50 chance of finding Kemble. After all, you go out our driveway here at Falling Downs, turn left, and you're in Kemble in two or three minutes. Turn right, you're in Wolsely in two or three minutes. Wolsley isn't Kemble.  It ain't fuckin' brain science.

But no, Buddy at the door has punched Kemble into his GPS and he's hopelessly lost. Every once in awhile you hear these stories, and they often end tragically. "Elderly couple stranded on Montana logging road - survive for six days before eating one another and dying." It's because they trusted their GPS.

On the GPS it'll show you the Burgess sideroad going clear up to Concession 24. It does and it doesn't. If you're hiking and you've got water-proof waders on, you can do it. If your driving a 2011 Lexus, and your on-board GPS says you can do it, well, the Burgess sideroad has a surprise for you. You can't.

Same with Cole's sideroad, a couple miles to the east. Your GPS will tell you it goes to the next concession and beyond. Hahaha! I once did the trip from our road to the next concession up the Cole's sideroad. Halfway through the trip the passengers balked and abandoned ship. I made it, with little more than a few dings in the oil pan, but suggesting this route to some gullible oaf who just punched Kemble into his GPS is right next to criminal.

There you go. Believe in progress and trust your GPS, or take a map with you.

I'll take the map.